From: Subject: The page cannot be fucking displayed Date: Thu, 13 Mar 2003 10:19:30 -0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0000_01C2E94A.090F3B00"; type="text/html" X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1106 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0000_01C2E94A.090F3B00 Content-Type: text/html; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Location: http://www.se7en-x.com/oops/ The page cannot be fucking displayed

The page cannot be fucking = displayed

The page you are = looking for=20 is currently unavailable. The Web site might be experiencing = technical=20 difficulties, or you may need to adjust your browser settings, but = most=20 likely you're a complete dipshit. You tell your friends you've = been online=20 since '94, but Mr. "I've been on the net for 5 years" seems to = call me a=20 lot at 2 am in the morning and asking what settings you need to = put in=20 your outlook express to get your @home e mail, or how do I send = something=20 in icq? My favorite moments from you and your friends are when you = send me=20 the "I love you virus" or the e mails I get with the jokes that = are so not=20 fucking funny I wanna snap your neck like a twig. No I'm not your = personal=20 Microsoft hotline, and when I go to your place for dinner, please = dont ask=20 me if I could "Just take a look at something" you've been having = trouble=20 with. The next time you tell me you pride yourself on how much = you've=20 learned about computers over the years, just know that I'm = thinking=20 "Bullshit" over and over in my mind ya prick.

Please try the following you complete idiot:

  • Click the 3D"Detect Refresh=20 button, but dont call me, I'm sick of helping your ass when you = don't=20 get it. I'm not the fucking "best friend help desk".
  • If you typed the page address in the = Address=20 bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. Knowing you it's = spelled=20 wrong. In fact I guarantee = it's=20 wrong. I've seen you mispell the word "the".
  • To check your connection settings, = jiggle the=20 cable. Stick a fork in the ram, or put a q tip in the fan at the = back of=20 your pc while it's on and get a face full of dust. I bet you did = that=20 already though didn't you? And you just don't want to admit it. = click=20 the Tools menu, there should be a picture of you since = you ARE a=20 Tool and then click Internet Options, now enter = your visa=20 or mastercard information in your digital signature, don't = forget your=20 expiry date, and send me an e mail. Thanks pal, I'll get an = extra dvd=20 for you from amazon.com with your credit card. On the = Connections=20 tab, click Settings. The settings should match those = provided by=20 your local area network (LAN) administrator or Internet service = provider=20 (ISP). Chances are you're using AOL anyway.. and they can't get = their=20 head out of their ass, but they can say hi to you since your = head is=20 planted firmly in the same ass.
  • If your Network Administrator has enabled it, = Microsoft=20 Windows can examine your network and automatically discover = network=20 connection settings. Hell Microsoft can examine everything you = do, they=20 can even SEE you right now sitting there with your pen in your = ear or=20 smelling your finger . Miscrosoft is at this very moment = secretly=20 connected to your computer and downloading all the information = you have=20 stored in it and watching you like a fat kid watches a friend = eat a=20 chocolate bar. Big brother? I think Bill Gates would have given = even=20 George Orwell nightmares.
    If you would like Windows to use = your=20 identity to apply for a blockbuster card so they can keep a copy = of=20 Hackers for 3 weeks, then click 3D"Detect=20 Detect Nitwit Settings. You know all those mp3's and that = porn that=20 you cleverly hid in your c:\windows=20 directory to fool your husband, wife, boss, or even your = parents? Not=20 only do they see it, they are making copies of it for personal = use.=20 Remember that firewall isn't going to protect you, THEY fucking = made=20 it.
  • Some sites require 128-bit connection = security.=20 But that's all a really really bad joke being played on you. The = word=20 "security" and "internet" shouldn't be in the same sentence. = Right now=20 you visa number is on about... 2,500 different websites. Not to = mention=20 your private e-mail is being handed out to more porn spammers = than the=20 number of times AOL tried to give you ONE MONTH FREE on a cd in = the back=20 of your favorite magazine.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure = site, make=20 sure your Security settings can support it. A reminder for those = of you=20 who have your feet up and a grin on your face as you read this, = if=20 you're looking at porn, and I know you are, your wife pretends = she=20 doesn't know shit, but she checks the history and the temporary = internet=20 folders while you're in the bathroom reading your magazine for = 26=20 minutes. She knows what you're doing. Don't even feel confident = she=20 doesn't. Wanna know why she doesn't mention it? Because now she = is=20 justified in having that affair on icq with some guy name Raul. = But here=20 is the funny part Mr. Wizard, SHE knows how to delete her logs = and=20 history and pretend she doesn't know how "this internet thing = works but=20 wants to learn". You're on the way to the couch after you "turn = on the=20 computer for your baby" while she just wants to surf the Martha = Stewart=20 website, but the second you leave the room, she's checking her = 15=20 hotmail accounts for "RE:=20 Your Hot Picture" . You are not = even HALF as=20 smart as you think you are pal. Once again, a reminders to click = the=20 Tools menu, I swear, there will be a picture of you in = there=20 somewhere, and then click Internet Options. Yours are = limited=20 since you just now realized that not only is your wife cheating = on you,=20 but some 15 year old kid in Miami just bought the entire Eminem = music=20 library on cd AND dvd and charged it to your credit card.
  • I would like to add ladies, if you think that was = funny,=20 wait until you find out how many times your boyfriend/husband = has=20 pretended to be a lesbian so he could talk to other lesbians on = mIRC=20 when you went to bed early. Chances are the other "Lesbian" was = some=20 middle aged guy named Norman who lives in a trailer in Salt Lake = City.=20 Not only is he balding and wearing a T shirt that says "Hard = Rock Cafe=20 Vegas" but the only other thing he's wearing besides a shit = eating grin=20 is a pair of  underwear that's older than a 1977 penny. = Also=20 ladies, take a good look at the mouse your holding right now, = you might=20 want to get a wet cloth and some anti bacterial soap. Men don't = know how=20 to use hotmail because they can't even remember what they had = for lunch=20 today, so there is no way they can recall some obscure password, = god=20 forbid. But remember a couple weeks back when he told you in = passing=20 about that software he ordered online that the computer really = needed?=20 The same software that he ordered on the visa? Well that = "software" is=20 actually a subscription to the personal webcam homepage for a = playboy=20 model at http://www.trishcampbell.com/ = Wheee isn't this fun? Learning about your mate? I just can't get = enough.
     =20
  • Click the Back button to try another life, cause = you=20 obviously just can't seem to get the hang of this one. Good = luck. Quit=20 your job and move to Mexico... oh and that grinding noise your = hard=20 drive is making right now... isn't me erasing your c:/ drive. = Honest. Oh=20 wow, is this YOU in c:/Temp/me.jpg

 



Clint=20 Vander Klok @ http://www.clint.ca/ is=20 responsible for this page. I actually spent the better part of an = hour=20 writing this... that tells you something about me doesn't it? E = mail it to=20 a friend and remember, Microsoft just = bought the=20 Catholic Church.

 
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